Once upon a time there was war
After the plague (covid), there is now another difficult story that parents are being forced to tell their children: War.
No one can fall asleep cradled by the monsters that take us to sleep. The news, the [ deeply sad ] images and conversations about the topic are everywhere. Children and young people wonder and ask about what they mean. Adults wonder what to say to them and how to communicate about the subject.
War can profoundly affect children/young people – the way they think and feel. Even when it happens thousands of miles away, it can call into question your need to see the world as a safe, predictable place.
Parents want to protect them, but simultaneously encourage them to be curious and experience the world. We want them to value peaceful ways of resolving problems and conflicts and discover what they can do to help make the world a better place.
As parents, it is essential that we make ourselves available to listen to their concerns, talk and answer their questions.
But be careful… If younger children are not interested in talking about war, there is no need to tell these stories! Especially younger children should not be forced to become aware of the existence of a war, if we believe it is possible that they will not access this reality in any other way. In the case of children who do not want to talk about the subject, it is important to show that you will always be available to do so, if she/he wishes… but listen and pay attention to the quieter games.
In addition to listening and responding, adapting speech to different ages, what can we do/say as parents? The enormous impotence that we have experienced in the last month raises us to reflection [ and gratitude for being here in peace ] . The truth is that it all starts, precisely here, within our own HOME/in our family! Saying what we think, what we feel, what we need, without being judged or punished for it! Communicating emotions [the unsaid] is sometimes more important than what is said. Give space to release sadness, anger and fury. Make dialogue a tool to combat fear.
The history of War can be an excellent chapter to educate for [Peace].
Peace begins here, inside our Homes - with our children
[ and with the parents who grow up in Peace with them ] .
Authorship
Child Psychologist Founder of CASA - Psychology, Education and Development Center
